Bill Gilonis (Keyboards)

Born '58, educated Harrow/Oxbridge, commission Queen's Own Regiment 3rd Highland Fusiliers, promising career in Gilts...then...disaster! Becomes avant-garde musician and plays with the Work, the Lowest Note on the Organ, David Thomas and other degenerates too numerous to mention. After years in the cesspit of his own making, he is offered a job as keyboard player with the Selfish team. For Bill, life has meaning again.

Unfortunately asked too many questions on the state of Bing's finances. Now exiled in Zurich, where he works as a barman in a rundown coffee shop on the wrong side of the tracks.

Ian St Snare (Drums)

Highly respected multi-instrumentalist who feels as at home on flugelhorn as he is on flute, piano, xylophone, lyre, congas and you name it. Strange then that for years now this man has been the subject of some of the most rigorous halluginogenic drug-tests known to science. Yes, after "volunteering" at an early age for these spurious "trials", he has been made to ingest huge quantities of these substances ever since. Famous for his remark, "Where am I?"

Geoff Clarke (Bass)

After 107 games for Manchester United alone, the world of music must be overjoyed to have this splendid attacking inside-left enter its portals. Bringing a "down home" feel to the Selfish sound that shows its country roots, he always injects a swing feel. An extremely able player in all positions, two-footed and very tight at the back.

Thoth (Guitar)

Controversial. That's the only word to describe this guitar-picker. Pulled up for lack of discipline many times by the Selfish management, this foppish axeman is rarely capable these days of stringing a coherent phrase together. Truly sad to watch, he is only kept in the band for sentimental reasons. It is perhaps a lesson for the rest of us mortals that a life of dissolution and nightclubbing can lay a once creative talent quite so low. Famous for remark, "What am I?"

Farmboy (Drums and Percussion)

He's got it all: Looks, rhythm and rural roots. Started hitting things at an early age and just never stopped. The years in Vietnam helped him develop his love of nature and now with Selfish, he hopes to develop his culinary technique.

Photo: Nobby Kealey

Dean Speedwell (Keyboards/Bassoon)

Tired of playing minor roles in cheap American TV series, Dean bumped into Selfish while skiing in Aspen, Colorado and lo, within 15 years , they were jumping and jiving in front of 100,000 semi-naked fans. Famous for remark, "When am I?"